When my husband stands up as a frontliner during Covid-19 lockdown in Malaysia, I begin to realise that we really care for one another. It was a Sunday when we got to know that heis department was scheduling a duty roster to put its staff on the road. It was the last thing I wanted to know because I was hoping he was not going to be called in. But that Sunday, I had no choice but to be calm and listened to what he was sharing.
He did not put on his uniform from home on the first day of his duty. So for me, it felt like any other day when he needs to work on Sundays. By Thursday, he already came back with his full suit on. I could feel my heart cracked a little. It feels like my heart was crying tears of worry when my eyes were not. Yet, I showed my happy face all the time that he was at home. Well, the least I could do to our country, Malaysia right now is my giving my moral support.
A friend of mine texted asking if I would like to contribute to the frontliners. I said I am already feeding one at home. We laughed but I told him that it is not always a good feeling.
Everyday as I wave my husband goodbye, my hart shrinks as if it cries for me inside. When he comes back, he sleeps soundly. He eats more than usual and one thing for sure is whatever you see on TV about frontliners working so hard during this Covid-19 Lockdown is real. They are really exhausted.
My mother, who is a virology professor has been giving her professional guide and expertise from time to time to her former staff who are still in service in MKAK (Makmal Awam Kesihatan Kebangsaan, National Public Health Laboratory). Perhaps because I have been living in and out MKAK compound seeing my mother working in the laboratory, it does not impact me as much as when I see my husband leaves home to work and be exposed to the danger out there.
It is enough of a heart-wrench to see him alone as a frontliner. My tears began to shed when I think of the medical staff who have lost their lives for the life of others. My feet weaken thinking about those who have close contact with the infected patients. Surely, they are so selfless, kind and emotionally strong.
Above all that, my sympathy and love go to the family members who have lost their loved ones battling this virus. We all understand that every living soul should taste deaths, but perhaps what we never thought of is letting them go in the kind hands of the medical staff. Not that we refuse to manage, nor that we want to give the medical an extra job, but we simply cannot do the needful for them this time. It is enough of an emotional burden thinking of that alone.
To all frontliners, may Allah give you the best reward for all your sweat and tears. May Allah reward syahid to those who have left us while working hard to save lives. We cannot thank them enough, but we definitely can stay home. That is the least we can do while some others are voluntarily working to complement the frontliners’ needs. Terima kasih semua. Tabarakallah.